Is It Hard?

I started the title as "It's Hard".  It's how I was feeling, life can be that way sometimes.  But then I felt guilty about that title.  Because my problems are very first world.  It's hard waiting for my nice house to sell.  It's hard waiting to build, what I hope will be our forever home.  It's hard to feel like a good mom most times, a good wife, a good friend.  It's hard running a business that is untraditional and so many people see as illegitimate.  Are those things really hard or are they mere inconveniences?  Probably more the latter.  But those "hard things" exist for us.  Hopefully they will be the most difficult things we ever deal with, but probably not.  Will I look back in 10 years and wish we were just dealing with these things?  Maybe.  I know so many people that have had much harder times and then my guilt creeps in, settles in my gut and my head, starts berating me for not appreciating enough.  See, it's hard. I over think 95% of what I do, what happens to me and what will come.  "Let Go and Let God".  I know.  I wish I capable of that all the time. I'm working on it, I really am :) 

Will I be back to my blog more?  I hope so.  In reality, let's face it, probably not.  I like to write, I like to share.  Just look at my FB feed, I probably over share!  I can never seem to convey the emotion that I want to though.  So I drifted back here to write a bit.

This fall has been the best one in probably the last 7 years.  Our kids are 10, 7 and almost 5. They can all feed themselves, dress themselves, brush their teeth, go potty and wipe their own behinds.  Can I get an amen?!  The independence they have, while sad in one way, has given me freedom!  Just to cook, clean and help with homework, don't get too jealous. But my balancing act is easier.  I've decided this is where I'd like to freeze time. They all still love us, but can wipe their own butts ;)  It's the best.  Do I miss the snuggly, melt into you newborn?  Always will.  But I like the little people my newborns have become. 

And they're freakin' gorgeous too!

So maybe when I write it all out, it's not that hard.  I love my husband.  He puts up with me when I don't like myself all that much, not so sure how he does. Our marriage is the easy in my life.  I don't always feel like a good wife, but I know to the core of my being, he will always be my biggest cheerleader, my #1 fan and we will last forever...just like my love for donuts ;)  

It's a good life.  A busy life.  I'm thankful everyday.  Even when I complain about our hard things.