I've been feeling like I want to share more lately. About lots of things. It's too lengthy for a FB post and I'm no good on a live feed, so my blog felt like the natural place to return to. It might be different than it was 2 years ago, but we are different, hopefully in the best ways. So if you're interested, jump back in with us (at least for today, I make no promises)! I plan on talking about family, being a mom and just trying to make it all work. Here's what's on my heart today....
How, as moms, do we do it all? Simple answer is, we can't. But most (me!) still strive to make it happen. For me, doing it all led me home <3 I was working full time at the hospital as a Neonatal ICU nurse. I love being a NICU nurse. I get emotional when I scroll past FB pics of my most treasured babies growing up. When not so long ago, I comforted their mommas as they wondered if they would get a tomorrow with their tiny fighters. It's an amazing profession....but it's a demanding one. Mostly emotionally. But physically, it entails 12 hours shifts (at least). Working nights, weekends and holidays away from the ones I love. After almost 14 years of working full time, I hit my breaking point. I had 3 little people at home that needed me....and I wanted to be with them. The weight of responsibility of raising these little people had become my #1 priority and I felt like I was drowning while working full time.
Before you roll your eyes and think about how dramatic I am, let me interject ;) I am so thankful for my job and we could have made it work, that's what we are conditioned to do right? Be thankful for what you have, don't be asking for more, that's selfish. But what if it's possible (and even okay) to be thankful for what you have and still want more out of life? I have decided it is. I want to share a story, a little background about how important my work is to me. Before Alan and I got married, we had to do counseling at church. One session focused on what our plans were about children, how we would provide for them, who would care for them? Our pastor suggested that a parent (me) should be home with our kids. That raising them would be more important than working outside the home. I was fairly insulted! How could I quit my job that I wanted to do since I was 12? Why would it have to be me? I take care of tiny babies, it's a VERY important job! We would never be able to afford that anyway. We talked a little about the subject and left it alone after that, but the conversation has always stuck with me. A few years ago, 9 years after the discussion, I finally got it. My family needed to be my #1 priority and something had to give. While I couldn't afford to quit my job, and still didn't really want to, I did have the option of going part-time. So with a lot of faith and no savings account, we decided I would. The next month, an opportunity with a direct sales company was presented to me and for reasons I still can't pinpoint-I said Yes (with a lot of encouragement from my husband).
That business single handedly allowed me to stay part-time at work . Almost 3 years later, I've matched my full-time RN salary with my home based business and I am working at the hospital even less. We have paid off nearly $20,000 in credit card debt the past 2 years. I'm not proud of that number. We lived way beyond our means and the little things just kept adding up. Just this year, the census (average number of patients) in our NICU has been extremely low. Nurses are getting called off shifts, we either have to take vacation time to get paid or take the time without pay. After getting called off an average of 7 shifts (84 hours!) over the past 3 months, many nurses have no vacation time left to take. I have been taking the time without pay. Thankfully, we have my other income to pay our bills. I thank God every.single.day that we have this safety net. It's nothing that I foresaw we would need, nothing that I thought I should "plan" for....but God did. I firmly believe that this business was brought to me and it was built to sustain us when I needed it most. It is NOTHING that I EVER thought I would be a part of, but I can't imagine where I would be without it. Sometimes it takes years for things to come full circle, but it's really amazing when you realize that they do.
I'm home mostly with my family now, chauffeuring kids all over Timbuktu, working my business into my life instead of working my life around my job. It's 100% what I love to do. I nearly have the best of both worlds (for me)-the working mom and the stay at home mom. And maybe this isn't what your "doing it all" looks like. That's what else I've learned. We don't all have the same dreams, what works for my family might not work for yours....and that's OKAY! I want to support ALL mommas doing what is best for them and their families! But I encourage you to look out for hidden opportunities and blessings, you just never know how your life might change <3
